This is not intended as a list of rules, merely suggestions that might help you enjoy the evening.
- Smile – It’s entirely natural to be nervous when speed dating but if you forget to smile you will be dramatically diminishing your chances of being picked by someone you may be interested in.
- Be honest – if you’re 55 with three children there is no point pretending to be 40 and childless. Be yourself but make the most of your circumstances. Being honest doesn’t mean you need to list all the faults and problems you may have within the first few minutes of meeting. Does it really matter if your distant uncle is in jail for burglary if you are an honest and decent person yourself?
- Concentrate on people’s character rather than what they do for a living. Some of us are lucky enough that our work is our passion in which case, fine but for the majority of us, work is something we do to provide a roof over our heads and some luxuries if we’re lucky. It is much more important to know about the character of the person you’re talking to. Ask interesting and open questions (see suggestions below). Even hobbies are not necessarily a subject for speed dating unless you feel you must find someone who shares your interest. Having different hobbies can be good for relationships as it allows each person their own space.
- Show that you have a sense of humour. Women, in particular, will cite sense of humour as one of the most important factors in choosing a partner. This doesn’t mean you should bring your stand-up routine and recite jokes. It does mean that laughing as well as smiling (at the appropriate time) will improve your chances of hitting it off.
- It is probably a good idea to turn off your mobile. Sending a text whilst sitting at the “dating table” is unlikely to impress. Also, make sure you concentrate on the person you’re sitting with. Looking around the room to see how everyone is doing is not attractive.
- Be sparing with the aftershave or perfume – see article about how smell attracts – do have a shower though! Dress smartly and let your character shine through.
- Aim to talk for slightly under two minutes – ask open questions to avoid yes/no answers. You need to talk enough to let your potential partner know enough about you to tell whether they might like you but you don’t want to dominate the conversation.
- A glass or two of wine or beer may help you relax, but add a couple more and you certainly won’t be at your best.
- Taboo topics – we mentioned work but it is also a good idea to consider avoiding religion, politics, money, sport. Just use your common sense. These are all important topics for discussion later if they interest you and you see the spark but not in the first four minutes, come on guys!
- Be optimistic but realistic – don’t expect to like every one of the people you sit down with. We’re all more discerning than that. The whole idea of going speed dating is to meet a number of people quickly and see which of them you’d like to meet again. Don’t be too disappointed if all your “likes” don’t like you back. Unfortunately life is like that sometimes. Don’t forget to fill in your score card as you go otherwise you’ll end the evening confused and maybe picking the wrong person to get in touch with.
Suggested (open) questions
- Are you safe or adventurous?
- Are you a spender or a saver?
- What would an ideal day look like for you?
- What situation do you feel most comfortable in?
- What is the most important character trait to you?
- Why are you here?
- How would your best friend describe you?
- What three things do you find indispensable?
- What do you want from the evening?
- What makes you bored?
- What excites you?
- What’s the most reckless thing you’ve ever done?
- What are you passionate about?
- Who would you like to have dinner with?
- If I could get you a ticket to anywhere, where would you go?
- Are you a movie, music or book fan
- What’s your favourite colour?
More questions… You might find this article interesting for later
https://lnkd.in/d8gy5e4″ No. 37: Big Wedding or Small?
In January 2015, you’ll have a chance to try out your dating skills in Salisbury, Wiltshire.
What’s more, it’s all in aid of an excellent charity, Hope and Homes for Children. The local support group is holding a speed dating event in Salisbury on January 15th 2015 for 40(ish) to 60(ish) year olds in aid of the charity.
By being flexible about the age range, there will be less temptation for participants to lie about their age. In fact, you won’t have to tell anyone your age at all , if you feel right coming along then you’ll be welcome.
The evening will be a fun event where each person will spend 4 minutes talking with every person of the opposite sex. There will also be a chance to mingle at the bar before and after the formal sessions. Ideal for those wishing to meet potential partners or just make new friends whilst at the same time helping a marvellous charity. www.hopeandhomes.org.uk
Places are limted to 20 men and 20 women. To express an interest in attending a repeat of this event, email Chris at Dating@hhc-sw.com or call 01747 858016 – there is no commitment at this stage.
Alternatively, follow us on Twitter @DatingSalisbury
Why not read some of our dating related articles: